I come from a passionate, Irish heritage. We said what was on our minds. It wasn’t until later that I learned that not all families were like that, but I also learned that many of my clients struggled with similar issues. Over the years, I began to develop questions to help clients reflect on the role our developmental years have on our expression of anger. Here are a few of those questions that others have found helpful.
- What do you believe about anger today?
- When growing up, what did your mother and father do with their anger?
- Did you see your parents work through anger/conflict? If so, how did they do it?
- As a child what did you learn about expressing your anger?
- As a child, how were you punished?
- As a child, did any of the adults in your life ever talk with you about anger? If so what did they say?
- What is your best/worst memory about anger in your family?
- In the present, what do you do when you are angry?
- What does it mean when your partner is angry with you?
- What does it mean when you are angry with your partner?
- What do you want to change so you will feel good about resolving anger?
- Describe as specifically as possible the changes you want to make.
Our next and last and most difficult reflection on anger will be posted next week.
Article Written By: Barbara Kennedy, OSM, LPC