Anger and Growing Up

I come from a passionate, Irish heritage.  We said what was on our minds.  It wasn’t until later that I learned that not all families were like that, but I also learned that many of my clients struggled with similar issues.  Over the years, I began to develop questions to help clients reflect on the role our developmental years have on our expression of anger.  Here are a few of those questions that others have found helpful.

 

  1. What do you believe about anger today?
  2. When growing up, what did your mother and father do with their anger?
  3. Did you see your parents work through anger/conflict? If so, how did they do it?
  4. As a child what did you learn about expressing your anger?
  5. As a child, how were you punished?
  6. As a child, did any of the adults in your life ever talk with you about anger? If so what did they say?
  7. What is your best/worst memory about anger in your family?
  8. In the present, what do you do when you are angry?
  9. What does it mean when your partner is angry with you?
  10. What does it mean when you are angry with your partner?
  11. What do you want to change so you will feel good about resolving anger?
  12. Describe as specifically as possible the changes you want to make.

Our next and last and most difficult reflection on anger will be posted next week.

 

Article Written By: Barbara Kennedy, OSM, LPC